What have You discovered about yourself ?

Back in 2020 I attended a prayer conference, it was a conference that made me realize that the power Community holds is greater than anything you can do alone. Its the power that sustains you, guides you, protects you. Its a love the Lord grants you because he knows you’re not meant to walk this life alone. Community can be abundant, or can be small and just as impactful and full.

I remember sitting at the conference and we were handed these orange towels that had “ Livin forgiven” written on them and when we went around the circle saying what this towel represented to us I said, “ Love for Myself” and I know that phrase might not sound like one aimed towards community, but if I can explain to you how it does, let me.

Have you ever been in a crowd of people, but felt so isolated, and unwanted all because you did not have enough confidence in yourself to speak, socialize, and engage? Many times, the times I didn’t feel like socializing are the times when I felt most uncertain about myself. Its the times I hated what I looked like, dressed like, felt like in my own skin. I felt detached from the one person I should feel attached to, myself, because it was my own flesh, my own heart, my own soul. Yet I was so out of touch with who I was, that I felt out of touch with others. I felt displaced because I myself was displaced. It wasn’t until that moment, that I looked at that orange towel, after a week of being surrounded by amazing, spirit filled people, that I was able to look down and identify that I couldn’t love those around me and feel loved, if I first didn’t love myself through the eyes Jesus does.

“Love myself”

Two words. Two words combined that would change my life forever.

Once I started to see that I needed to appreciate who I was it lead me to who I currently am. I am loved. I am wanted. I am destined. I am the One the Lord died for. I am the one he loves. And I am made whole through Him.

I just had to accept the fact that there is a God out there who sent his Son to die for me, and that message right there changed my perspective. It showed me that I was cared about in a way I never knew I was. It showed me I was beyond loved. Loved more than any person on this earth could love me. I was and am forgiven for my past mistakes. I am healed from my past hurts. And I am encouraged to keep walking towards the purpose He has for me.

This is all because I had to love myself first. I had to realize that I needed to accept my own heart, my body, my soul, my mind and when I did I was propelled into a community that did the same. I now walk confidently towards friendships, because I know who I am, and I know if they don’t appreciate me, thats on them and I could move on.

I no longer remain where I am neglected, because if Christ doesn’t neglect me why should I be neglected by others. Of course, people will hate me just as they hated Jesus, but thats not an excuse to remain in a room filled of toxicity. It’s a sign to love from afar.

So what have you discovered about yourself?

Have you discovered new talents

Have you discovered you actually don’t like doing that one thing

Have you discovered your real friends

Whatever you have discovered I hope and pray it fills you up

But of course, nothing can fill you up if it first doesn’t come from God

I am filled with self love because God first loved me