Made For More

Lately I’ve been feeling disconnected; not from myself, not from Jesus, but from the world. And I’ve been questioning myself about this disconnected feeling. Like is it good, is it bad, is it a dangerous feeling to feel far away from the world, or does it mean I’m on the right track to wanting to live a better life, a free life, a pure life?

Often times I think this feeling is bad, because aren’t I supposed to feel like one with the world, aren’t I supposed to be completely immersed in my surroundings, and be up to date in everything that’s happening? That being pop culture, the news, the new trend, you name it. But honestly, I’ve found myself saying, no. No I am not supposed to be interested in what the world has to offer. I am not supposed to be involved in conversations that degrade another mans character. I’m not supposed to be up to date with how the new trend works. And frankly, I don’t even care if I am not in tune with the world anymore. Because I’ve realized I can, and I should be in tuned with God, in tuned with Heavenly thoughts, in tuned with righteous and loving people, I should be speaking gracious words, have a giving heart, and surround myself with a community who wants change, but a heavenly change, not a worldly change.

I want to care for people, like really care. I want to have a conversation with people who have different points of views and not be screamed at for once for just talking. I crave healthy bonds, I crave intentionality, I crave authenticity, and I’ve been for so long, running away from those things, all because I wanted to fit in, I wanted acceptance, I wanted support(even when I knew that support was fake), I just wanted people in my corner. But I’ve realized, that I don’t need those things, especially if I have to change my character and who I am to attain them. It’s empty. It’s lonely. And I hate being lonely. But I’ve seen, that its worth being lonely and assured of who you are as an individual in Christ, then to have a crowd of people screaming at you to be like them, and could care less about you. That’s real loneliness, because then, you’re the one person in a crowd with no one to relate to, no one to talk to.

Lately, I’ve been in what seems like the shadows. It's as if I'm behind a curtain waiting for it to be drawn, but while being behind the curtain God’s revealed to me that theres more to life, and that there’s a faithful way to live without downgrading my energy. He’s shown me hope, and He's shown me that I may have to leave some areas in my life behind, and for once, I am okay with that. Because I am tired of being played and living among the fake. It's time for more. So I've come to a conclusion that I am meant for more than just empty conversations. I am meant for more than just the compliments of individuals who talk smears in the backgrounds. I am more than just a pushover. I am worthy of being loved. So onward towards a new life, because I am done with the old.

YOU ARE MEANT FOR MORE AND TO BE LOVED TOO

Heres a few verses that I've been reading over lately:

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27

“If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.” James 3:13-18

“Oh, the joys of those who do not

follow the advice of the wicked,

or stand around with sinners,

or join in with mockers.

But they delight in the law of the Lord,

meditating on it day and night.

They are like trees planted along the riverbank,

bearing fruit each season.

Their leaves never wither,

and they prosper in all they do.” Psalm 1:1-3

“Those people belong to this world, so they speak from the world’s viewpoint, and the world listens to them.But we belong to God, and those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That is how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception.” 1 John 4:5-6